Confession of two twenty-something(s).

Happy Pride Month! This post welcomes the wonderful addition of a guest writer T. ! Two stories of how our young queer writers are entering the workforce in Vietnam.

1. Real estate, gambling, and a contorted atmosphere to make something as a man. H.

Estranged car rides as networking opportunities.

I started to bury my thoughts, as the men I shared the ride with started talking about new entrepreneurial opportunities in Laos. It was three men, one in his 30s, two in their 40s. Opening new casinos, cocaine, bribery, and prostitution. It was nothing to verbalize that for them, but I was scared shitless. Perhaps part of it was ego-tripping, but perhaps part of it was also a call for investing between men. They were never this way when my mom was around.

It was, and still is, a very macho atmosphere for doing business in the Northern mountainous region of Vietnam- my hometown.

I am unsure where I - a limb wrist boy fit into that uncomfortable picture. 

Loan sharks.

Fast forward a few conversations and phone calls later, my uncle took me to his high school class reunion. The reason it happened: I got some modeling gigs in university, and there were whispers that I planned to pursue modeling.

He took me with his friends to see 7 hectares of land next to an expensive resort. “This is prime real estate” he mentioned. The family business acquired this hill after being a loan shark in the region. This is all there is to be THE WEALTH in the region. To bring reputation to your name.

[…] and that all it takes to become successful:

It is to get wed, be a man, don’t do drugs/stray away in said macho circle, give out loans, and acquire more lands.

A macho circle with networks as such is strictly reserved for men in the family. The building of such circles is exclusive, classist, and built upon manhood signaling. Yet in that bravado culture, I don’t see a single man my age get to stay sober. My cousins (*other men my age) who tried to get into that circle are now struggling in rehab. And the same goes for the other 3 uncles in family.

Only the one who is showing me the land is doing well.

So much for anh em xã hội.

The success story of a man where I live is that of an exploitative one. It is built upon acquisitions of lands and resources, and it is possessed by an uneasy culture of macho, the same way it is built upon the mistakes of sons from other families. 

2. “Your network is your net worth.” Sure, but how to cultivate one? - T.

My name is T. I’m 23, working in crypto, starting from ground zero. What strikes me most, and perhaps this is true across finance, is the unabashed pursuit of profits, the relentless chase for those big bags.

It should come as no surprise when you work in disruptive technology enterprises or startups, having exclusive access to the most unparalleled information. While people outside the crypto craze in 2020 remain oblivious, a new generation of crypto millionaires was born. So why not make friends with the big guns, the VC people, and get into the inner circle for cash opportunities?

---

It turns out the first requirement is pretty hard to fulfill if you’re new af to crypto: Having a quality network. Emphasis on quality.

People make money here in different ways. Some copy successful traders. Some follow the trends and research of their own. Others make a living by telling others to mimic their trades. The holy grail of these activities? They’re often exclusive and tough for women to fit into.

---

In Vietnam, you’ll encounter the audience being addressed as ‘anh em,’ a friendly way to call your best bros. They’ll even misgender you. Just because their default version of a crypto enthusiast is a male.

That might imply there are no women in crypto, which can’t be further from the truth.

Just to give you a few names: Lynn Hoang (Vietnam Country Manager of Binance, the largest centralized exchange for cryptocurrency), Yi He (Co-Founder & Chief Customer Service Officer at Binance), Rachel Conlan (CMO at Binance), Elaine Yang (Investment Director at Water Drip Funds), Alyssa Tsai (Founder & CEO at PANONYGroup, a Hongkong-based incubator for web3 businesses), Joanna Liang (CEO & Co-founder of Jsquare, a crypto investment firm), Sapna Singh (Software Engineer at Binance), the list goes fucking on.

---

Still, the space for women remains limited, unless you’re exceptional and already in the working circles.

I remember attending a workshop about honing research skills in crypto. That workshop was 99% men and 1% women. Despite the professional organization, the conversations kinda resembled a casual meetup with someone, sipping beer by the river. Male attendees might group, but female participants almost always went alone. They also didn’t raise as many questions as their male counterparts (which could be untrue because the male group already dominated in numbers, thus increasing the numbers they asked).

Most of us are newbies, and most of the answers helped a lot.

Despite it being a networking event, I couldn’t connect very much outside my existing group, which is a crypto company of 15. 13 men, 2 women.

If there were that many seats for women in crypto, why was it so hard to find a seat when you started?

For now, our two writers make do with what they have. Yet let’s never forget that success should not be predicated on exploiting others or adhering to restrictive cultural/gender expectations, but rather on ethical practices, mutual support, and innovation.

Happy Pride Month!